The painter and the well

“…Water… where is the,” *cough* “…water”

“Daughter, you seem to be thirsty, come, drink from me.”

*sip* “Wow, it is… sweet?”

“Yes, I am the only well with living water.”

“Amazing, you are such an old, deep well. Why does there only seem to be water in your pale?”

“Oh, daughter, how naive you are. The only good water in this world is that which you find in me.”

“How do I receive this water? Please, tell me more.”

“First, you must say a prayer, and acknowledge that my water is the only pure one, and that it is only through the powers above that you receive it.”

“Dear well, I acknowledge that your water is the only pure water. Wait, what power?”

“Oh, dear child, the powers above that give life to all living things that acknowledge it. Only because of that power does this water exist.”

“Where is this power so that I may ask it for this wonderful water?!”

“You don’t have to search for the power. I will give you all the water you need.”

“Well thanks! Dear power, I acknowledge that your water is the greatest, and that the only one who gives pure water is this well.”

“Please, drink from my pale.”

*sip, sip*

“Now, if you want more, you must climb down to find more.”

*creek, crack, woosh* “Wow, you are so deep, where is the rest of the water?”

“Don’t worry about that child, may I ask what you do?”

“I am a painter. I just love the feeling of a brush in my hand.”

“Daughter, would you please paint pictures praising the powers above.”

“Sure, what do they look like?”


“You, I thought you said they were above?”

“Well yes, but I was created in their image.”

“Magnificent, yes, I will paint pictures praising the powers above. Let me just climb out and start on…”

“NOOO! Please, paint them in my walls.”

“But, how will anyone know of the glory of the powers above?”

“Because daughter, they will come in like you are and see.”

“Well, I should start painting then.”

*Wisk wisk*
*Wisk wisk wisk*
*Sssssss, sh, wss, wisk*

“How many years has it been dear well?”

“Half your life I believe.”

“Oh, how splendid, look how great your walls are, how magnificent people will know the powers above are when they see them. Oh, the bottom! We finally made it!”


“Wait, where is the water? There is only a small, muddy puddle down here.”

“How dare you blaspheme against the powers above! Only I gave you water, only I gave you a place to paint, did you not enjoy what you had?!”

“Yes, but the water comes from the powers above, not from you. You aren’t even holding it properly. Now everyone who sees my painting will meet the same fate as I. Trapped in a well only concerned about its own self-indulgence.”

“You insult the powers above.”

“No, you insult the powers above. I spent years decorating you to spread the great news of the powers above. But, now I know you were lying to me.”

This is the reason I often find people to be disenfranchised with the church.
It spends more time promoting itself than equipping people to figure out how to grow their spiritual lives themselves.


I did what you said. My fire is hot. I stoked the fire.

I did what you said.
You gave me fuel, taught me how to make it hotter. Every page consumed, song sung, and prayer said made the fire stronger.

My fire is hot.
Everyone around me, all of you, say they can see the fire I have. It continues to convince you that the fire is worth making hotter. That we should care about our fires.

I stoked the fire.
I was ever diligent, ever watchful. The fire never had a chance to grow dim… You always reaffirmed how it looked.

One day I looked over and realized that the fire was dimming. I looked around for fuel, and found none. Not one thing you said was helping… it burned so hot I couldn’t get enough fuel… all my watching had made me grow tired… You were not there…

And so, to make sure the fire stayed lit, I threw myself in.

First my legs burned up, so I could no longer escape. Then, my stomach gave way, and the stress eating was no longer helping. I tried to use my arms to save my heart, but my heart had been convinced long ago, I had committed to keeping this fire lit. Then, my heart laid still in the ashes at the bed of the fire, and then itself burned up.

At this point, and this point only, my mind being all that was left to support me realized something. I didn’t care about this fire…

But, it was too late, I was going to die on this ideal. Until someone saw me.

They came, lifted me out of the fire, and asked my name.


The only word I knew defined me at this point… lost.

They asked me what was happening.


Are you ok?


They looked around at the ashes. They had grown cold now, the fire was dead. They bent down, and reformed the ashes.

I looked down, at the fire put out, and started crying.

“Lost… My… Passion…”

They finished forming my heart, and handed it back to me. “No, this was someone else’s. Your passion wouldn’t destroy you.”

I then took to using my new body, made from the ashes of what I had before. It wasn’t the best, but it was better.

You were the church, the fire was my passion for my religion, my body was my beliefs, and that someone who saw me was truly my God.

In the end, I acknowledge it was my idea to throw myself into the fire, I just wish someone would have told me how to find my own beliefs instead, so that I could have found my passion. I still don’t know how to find my passion… but at least I now have the opportunity to search for it.

Grace and Peace,

Limes in their sink, a parable

This guy I know named Jeshua puts limes in their garbage disposal.
He has heard that it will cause his garbage disposal to smell wonderful and clean.

One day, he is at Nick’s house. And at the bottom of the cherry limeade Jeshua is drinking there is a slice of lime. So, in a conscious effort, Jeshua puts the lime in the garbage disposal and doesn’t run it, because surely the garbage disposal will get run later.

Later… Nick turns on the garbage disposal. It makes an unexpected noise like there is something inside it. Nick digs into the garbage disposal and finds the lime. Jeshua owns up quickly to putting the lime in the sink stating, “That is probably my lime.”


Nick’s kid then proclaims, “Why would someone put a lime in the garbage disposal?”

Nick then says, “Because some people don’t take care of their garbage disposals.”

Jeshua is immediately off put by this statement. His internal dialogue kicks in “What do you mean I don’t take care of my garbage disposal? That is why I put the lime in it.” Jeshua gets ready to explain and then stops…

6 months later…

Jeshua continues to mull over having put the lime in his friend’s sink.

What is the moral of the story?
Quit putting your fucking limes in other people’s sinks. It doesn’t help them in the same way that it helps you. Hell, it might not even be helping you.

On another note:

I am done with this blog, this is my last post. I just want to do other things and don’t want to continue to spend money on this site and keep it in the back of my mind. Look forward to my other adventures like my YouTube channel that I do with my friends:
And other such adventures that spin off of there. Grace and peace, enjoy your limes.


If God is Omnipresent it is no wonder that as humans who are attempting to focus their lives around God end up in so many different places.

If God is as big and mighty as we claim God is, then centering our lives around God becomes a matter of recognizing the impossibility of centering any closer than we have already been. For, God has been present since the beginning. And God is present now. And God will be present later.

To claim that we can do something to make God somehow more present in our lives is madness, for if God is truly Omnipresent, then centering your life around God is simply continuing to acknowledge that God is there.

A worship song does not make God present.
God is already here.
Your sin does not make God distant.
God is already here.
Your good deed does not make God closer.
God is already here.
God doesn’t visit you in your hard times.
God is already holding you.
God doesn’t visit in the good times.
God is already dancing with you.

So remember wherever you are at, God is already there.


I think that modern thought has lost the understanding that defining something is actually a battle.  And it is not a batter that can be won in just words, but also in actions and general changes within our culture.

Let us take the word slavery for instance.  At one time, this was a positive word.  It was a word that defined how someone could own a plantation and cut down on maintenance costs for planting, maintaining, and harvesting a field.  Then, we redefined slavery to be a negative word, one associated with pain, and that is a moral wrong.  So, this is a positive redefining of a word and action in order to bring progress in our world.

Now, let’s consider the cross.  At the time it was used by the Roman empire, it was a symbol and tool of pain and suffering.  Then, it was redefined as a symbol of hope by early Christians, and then redefined throughout history to the point where it because unrecognizable as a tool of pain and suffering and only a symbol of hope.  Then, as gangs picked up steam in the modern world, the symbol of the cross was redefined in order to give meaning to gang members.  And today it holds both a meaning for gang members, and meaning for the Christian church.

And this redefining is happening every day.  Things do not remain static just because you can site the “original” meaning of something.  The original meaning of the cross is not what its meaning is today.  Therefore, definitions and understandings of Christians is also something being constantly redefined.

We are in a societal change of thought, we can no longer say that the Acts version of Christianity is the original and so that is what Christianity is.  As people interact with Christians, the definition is constantly changing.  What you say a Christian is and what I say a Christian is are probably dramatically different, and in the end, people are probably going to believe some of both.

I don’t know how to really apply this to life, other to understand this and act cautiously… and that is all I really have for you.



What a shame…
That artificial divides have become so powerful that we are losing the capability to see each other.
That we care more about abstract ideals that we believe to the the solutions to problems than the individuals who are experiencing those problems.
What a shame…
That we separate by generations, stating that the other one’s cause our own generation’s. That we take beautiful words like snowflake and then use them negatively until the snow outside of our own window loses its wonder and shine.
That the words liberal and conservative can create so much fury in one’s heart that they have the capacity to break others’.
What a shame…
That our churches struggle so greatly with divorce due to fornication, pornography, and adultery; and yet the only sexual sin we care about is homosexuality.
That people are up in arms about rights to arms to the point that the word arms no longer refer to the parts of our bodies outside of a classroom.
What a shame…
That I can say the word Trump and break a family apart…

Why is everything someone else’s fucking fault?!

We all suck. The reason that there are two sides is because everyone is willing to stand on one. The reason that we can see all the specks in people’s eyes is because we are getting close enough to beat them down with the planks in our own. We will only take an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, and our forgiveness and care for other’s growth as human beings is overshadowed by our inability to see that we are growing too.

And what a shame it is that we can’t see that see that the problems we encounter in the world most often originate in…

The worst lie/a billion pictures

The worst lie that others will teach you is that they know what is best for you.
“What is best for me is what is best for you.”
Or in other words
“Don’t be an artist, you won’t make it.”
Or in other words
“They aren’t the kind of person you would want to build a family with.”
Or in other words
“You have to go to college.”
Or in other words
“I always regretted not doing dot, dot, dot…”

The worst lie you will ever teach yourself is that you know what is best for you.
“Only I know what is right for me.”
Or in other words
“I will be a famous artist.”
Or in other words
“It doesn’t matter if they aren’t stable, they love me.”
Or in other words
“I will be happy with a minimum wage job.”
Or in other words
“I will have no regrets if I do what I want, which is dot, dot, dot…”

There are a billion pictures in this life. We communicate them through the words we speak and the ways we act.
We encounter tens to hundreds of pictures of life every day. Our life, others lives… they all project pictures.

The greatest truth you will ever encounter is that no one sees all billion pictures, but putting together as many as you can will change your life.
“Is there one thing that is the best for everyone?”
Or in other words
“How to I cultivate my passion for art?”
Or in other words
“How do I best learn to love others?”
Or in other words
“How to I sustain basic needs while doing what I love?”
Or in other words
“How have others learned to live life to the fullest?”

A life of binaries and statements has no chance of living up to a life learned from a billion answers to a billion questions.

Rey Don’t Got No Parents (A Theory)

Ight.  As a heads up, there are not theological pieces to this.  This post is purely me being a geek.

So, hear it is.  What I believe to be the most plausible theory for who Rey’s parents are.  I am going to make one assumption, and that is that Supreme Leader Snope is actually Darth Plegueis the Wise.  Now accepting this we move forward.

Who is Darth Plegueis the Wise?  He was Emperor Palpatines master.  Shown to us in one of the creepiest scenes in the entire star wars series here (with a video and transcript for you:

“Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic, he could save others from death, but not himself.”

What assumptions can we make from there?

  1. Darth Plagueis the Wise did save himself from death (or he at least survived the attack), he just ended up extremely deformed, and why Snope has a massive cut on his forehead.  Palpatine just in his pride thought he killed him.
  2. Anakin had no father (revealed to us in Episode 1 by his mother to Qui-Gon).  Anakin was created by Palpatine (or Plagueis, not sure which).

So, it is fully possible that Plagueis or Palpatine actually created Rey as well.  Why does this make sense?

  1. Rey’s parents might not have wanted her, fearing that she did not come from natural means.  OR Some crazy plot from Plagueis or Palpatine went horribly wrong, and somebody hid Rey from them.
  2. Rey is extremely strong in the force from the get go, similar to how Anakin was when he was a kid.

So, there is my pitch.  Rey has no parents, her parent (most likely only a mother… if that is how this weird thing works) was a nobody similar to Anakin’s mother.

To Be You

I have recently been listening to a book called The Tao of Pooh. It is a summary in Taoist philosophy using Winnie the Pooh to explain it.

Something that is being hammered by the author is that people are just to be themselves. And that this is when everything in their life will come together.

The goal isn’t to be the most clever like Rabbit, or the most knowledgeable like Owl, but rather to do what Pooh does, and just be.

Now, let me connect this to ourselves transformed in Christ, because I feel like this idea can allow us to grasp the freedom that God has laid out for us.

Let us take David as the example that I will extrapolate from. David had a nature that was given to him by God. He had a disposition of passion even before Samuel camel and said that he would be future king of Israel. David was chosen has he was, not after he formed himself into perfection. He was a child, and he was just being David. While David was just being David, he ended up challenging Goliath. This wasn’t some crazy leap from his current character, it was an elaboration of his character, David encountered a moment in life that was going to further refine his nature. Then, as king, he would do things like dance in the streets where his wife Micheal frowned upon him (I am doing most of this from memory, so forgive me if my details are a little fuzzy), but was just an extension of the character that David already possessed. David would also do things contrary to his nature, like take Bathsheba as his wife, which he lamented about after the fact, ya know, since he killed someone for her. Even David was able to recognize something that was not him.

Now, where this comes in for our lives is wisdom and the Holy Spirit’s transformative power in our lives. God wants us to just be us. And he is constantly refining us through wisdom and the Holy Spirit. This creates conviction and understanding of what we need to improve upon in our own lives, in order to be more like who we are. In the end anger, violence, and sin in general fights against who we are, and only prevents us from being ourselves.

I believe that God wants us to just be us. Just like Pooh is just Pooh.

It probably is worth a note to say that there are caveats to this train of thought. And taking it too far ventures away from certain parts of the Christian message (like, this cannot be used to justify sin, otherwise we have strayed from most of the New Testament). But, with a prayerful life with constant transformation from the Holy Spirit really makes this God just wanting you to be you thing possible.

This is poorly worded and written, and I am sorry about that. I just really wanted to write this down, and that is what this blog for. As the blog’s title says, I don’t deserve to speak, but since I am allowed to through freedom in Christ to just be me, here it is.